Are the Terrible Twos Really So Terrible?

Every new parent dreads the start of the terrible twos. Most have heard horror stories of dramatic temper tantrums and mood swings. Basically, your lovable baby turns seemingly overnight into an unpredictable, defiant stranger.

I remember when my oldest daughter went into her terrible twos. It wasn’t long after my divorce, and my emotions were raw and sensitive. I was thrown by her tantrums, and even more so when she went into the turbulent threes.

I was in my late thirties when I had my second daughter, and not as easily shaken by the drama or her quest for independence. (Although three was a tougher age for her too.)

Another decade has passed and my granddaughter Alana is now in her terrible twos. Alana is a very mellow child, so her passage into this difficult phase has been almost imperceptible.

Okay, there have been some signs of negativity and mood swings. She can be clingy, particularly with her mother. She has an occasional tantrum, but they seem fewer than with my own children.

Another characteristic of this age is an insatiable curiosity, which has led to some interesting adventures. On a recent Saturday, she went into the bathroom and came out covered in toothpaste.

She has learned to do somersaults, and periodically flings herself off the end of the couch.

She tries to walk the back of the couch like a tightrope.

She likes to torment her aunt - my nine-year-old daughter – by stealing her favorite toys. “That’s Becky’s,” I will try to tell her gently. “NO – ALANA!!” she screams back. Sometimes she argues about plans. I will tell her we are going shopping, and she will say, “NO – SWINGS!!!”

By far, the biggest curve ball of her terrible twos occurred last night. I had stepped out with my husband and daughter, leaving Alana with her mother. While I was out, Bethany turned her back on Alana – and Alana colored my kitchen with a permanent marker, which I didn’t even know was in the house, let alone in reach of a two-year-old.

Children always have lessons to teach us. So from the latest two-year-old in my life, I have learned that cooking spray removes permanent marker from linoleum, and a pencil eraser removes it from woodwork.

I have learned I need to have a Magic Eraser in my house at all times.

I have learned my home was never as child proof as I thought it was.

I have learned my granddaughter won’t hug me if her mother is in the room.

I’ve learned that BA BA QUE PA means Sponge Bob Square Pants.

The terrible twos aren’t really so terrible. The two-year-old is trying to do her job:

• strive for independence

• communicate even though she doesn’t have the language skills to do so

• learn all that life has to offer

My job is to help set a predictable routine, childproof my house, set limits and expect them to be tested. More than that, my job is to savor every moment I get to spend watching her grow.

Well, almost every moment.

Return from Terrible Twos to Home Page